Guess who has these babes on snapchat? The answer would be me so I obviously win at life and it’s okay to be jealous.
Agatha Christie, An Autobiography (via simply-quotes)
this is so real.
A Schizophrenic suicide.
congratulations on reading the book before it was made into a film
you win: nothing
how do you ask what a glass of water is doing?a glass of water is an inanimate object and is incapable of having a thought process or understanding english
water you doing
hey girls friendly reminder that if another girl is being mean to you, avoid calling her a bitch, slut, or whore, because it’s likely there will be dudebros nearby and if you say that they might think it’s ok to say that to other women. Call her “motherfucking…
NOBODY TOLD ME SNAILS EAT WORMS I THOUGHT THEY FED ON SUNSHINE AND DEWDROPS
then you should probably know that the reason they’re so gooey on their tops and not just their bottoms is so that if ants and the like try to eat them they with get stuck and either suffocate or starve whilst attached to the snail
oh i thought that was just maximum lubrication for prime slime trail creation